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Traits of a Long and Happy Relationship

images (11)We all want to know the secret of a long and happy relationship. There is an excellent study of adult development that examined people continuously for six to eight decades. This Aging Well(1) study focused on three groups. First is sample of 268 socially advantaged Harvard grads born around 1920. The second group is 456 inner city men born around 1930. The third group is 682 middle-class intellectually gifted women born around 1910. The study involved eight initial in-depth psychiatric interviews to establish a baseline. The follow-up study involved interviews with them, their parents and teachers to get more objective information. Most of subjects were then followed continuously until they passed away.

To bypass all the statistics, the task of generativity was the best predictor of an enduring and happy marriage in old age. Generativity is basically how involved we have been as parents. We generate and raise our children with a varying degree of involvement. The top four traits from the study for a long and happy marriage are generativity, commitment, tolerance and humor.

Generativity is a measure of our caretaker abilities

About Promise Rings

download (9)A promise ring is a symbol of commitment and most people give it as a pre-engagement ring. If you are buying the ring to your loved one to show that you are committed to him/her, you need to be specific as to what you are promising.

Tips To Consider When Buying The Ring

You need to know the purpose that you have with the ring. If you are giving the ring as a sign of friendship, you should buy something that is simple and inexpensive. If on other hand your partner is looking for a marriage proposal, you should go for a traditional ring. To avoid misinterpreted surprise, you should be clear to your partner as to why you are giving the ring.

For your partner to like the ring, you should ensure that it’s something that he/she can wear. This calls for you to know the right size that you should go for. You should also know the career of your partner. If he/she is involved in a job that involves a lot of manual work, you should go for a ring made

What Is Grace and Where Can I Find It?

images (10)The word Grace is the basis of all my understanding of a Christian belief and an American value system that I hold dear. Yet, only the unmerited grace of God can save anyone anywhere in the world of any religious background. No one can have a claim of entitlement to God’s grace, Christian or Non-Christian, and it is only by his generosity that salvation is even possible for any of us.

Grace is the love and mercy we are given by the Creator of Heaven and Earth because we are thought to be worthy to possess it by his holiness. We primarily refer to God as our Creator and Muslims refer to Him as Allah. Pre-Islamic Christians and Jewish people referred to Him as Allah long before this however so I personally believe He is one and the same. I’ve known many Muslims having been in Iraq and Kuwait for nearly nine years during both war and peacetime. Grace is something open to all people on this planet earth regardless of religious affiliation. It is not just for Christians only but it

Keys That You Are With The Right Person

images (9)Many people have asked about how you would know that you are with the right person, the one that you were looking for a long time. Some even ask married people how they knew that they met the right one. Here are the things that you should remember, you will meet a lot of people but only one will spark and start a fire in you and become yours for life.


One thing you will feel when you are with right person is that you are more than comfortable with him, you talk about random things without staggering,, confide in him without hesitation and do things you don’t do around others. Getting comfortable with your partner is essential, for both of you will be transparent with one another, no pretensions because you can be YOURSELF with your significant other.

You are not left hanging

No guessing game, you don’t have to ask yourself when he’s going to call or text you, nor when he’s going to turn up and ask you out to spend some time. He will not leave you with all those

Trapped by Love

images (8)Over the past ten years, I’ve worked in a predominately male environment, so I’ve heard one or two men mention the fact that they’d gotten “trapped?” by women. Trapped? I found it very interesting that grown men would use that terminology when describing a consensual relationship between two adults.

I thought that “trapped” was too strong of a word to be used by grown people who had entered relationships at free will.

One day I had what I suppose that you may call an epiphany, I was talking to the Animal Control Officer and he was having a hard time catching a pack of wild dogs. I asked, “Why don’t you put out a trap and catch them?” He shook his head in dismay and said, “I can’t catch them. I’ve put all types of food in the trap. They just will not get in the trap. As a matter of fact when I’m in the area that they are roaming in, as soon as I turn the corner, they look at my truck and run!”

I started laughing. I said, “Do you have

Making Promises to Please People – A Nasty, Harmful Habit

images (7)I frequently give this example and it is potent.

You leave for a trip and your seven year old child reminds you that Friday is her big game. “Will you be back, Daddy?” She asks.

You promise her that no matter what happens, you will be there. You know full well your flight arrives late at night. Yet you promise her.

What just happened?

Three things. One, you made a false promise to someone who trusts you more than anything she knows. Two, you lied to yourself. Three, you felt nothing since the promise was not that important–and even if you did feel a tinge of guilt you are supremely confident you will “make it up to here.” I may add that a fourth thing that has happened is that you may actually feel good that you don’t have to think about it.

All three are devastating to a relationship and fatal to earning someone’s trust, even someone as innocent and immature as a seven year old.

You see, we make many promises that are worthless but may make us feel good momentarily. Like when you promise

Marriage and The Fear of Intimacy

download (8)Marriage and the Fear of Commitment

Many years ago my wife and I were surprised when a friend announced that she and her long time boyfriend broke-up. They were together for fifteen years. During that time, each lived in their own apartment, moving back and forth between apartments as it suited them. She asked that he move in but he never did. During that fifteen year period of time she discussed marriage with him many times. He always reassured her that they would marry but that, for one reason or another, they must wait. Finally, they decided to marry and set a wedding date. He then promptly broke off the relationship and she never saw him again. It was rumored that he married someone else but that was never confirmed.

Commitment phobia or the fear of intimacy is all too real. The rate of divorce in the United States is estimated to be about fifty percent. While there are no statistics on how many of these are due to fear of intimacy, there is no question that at least some are. An interesting

How to Know If He Loves You

images (5)So here you are, but before you get your hopes up… I need to tell you that there is a 99% chance that this guy isn’t in love with you if you haven’t had sex with him yet.

STOP! Hold your horses, this information doesn’t mean that you should immediately go out and sex him. Before you do that you need to assess a few things like:

– Is he compatible with you?
– Are you attracted to him?
– Is he attracted to you?
– Do you have an emotional bond/connection?
– Is he mature enough to commit?
– Can you see a future with this guy?

In the event that you do have sex with him you need to have ticked all of the above boxes especially the emotional connection box. If a guy doesn’t have an emotional connection to you and the sex is bad to average he will hit the road like Road Runner – beep beep!

He loves me, he loves me not?

It is always hard to tell and the signs vary from man to man but some of the

4 Easy Ways to Capture His Heart

images (6)If you’re a woman who loves your man too much, what are the things that you can do for him to reciprocate your feelings? Or if you are the type who has the tendency to be obsessed with a man, how can you be in a healthy relationship and finally meet you’re Mr Right? These are the questions that women who love too much asks every time. Although they seem really complex and difficult, there are actually a few things that we can begin doing or practicing to get the lifetime partner we desire. And it all begins with ourselves.

Here are 4 easy, realistic ways to capture his heart and make him love you forever.

  • Analyze yourself. Your traits and attitude towards men in general.

Face the mirror and ask yourself, are you desirable? If your answer is No, then your answer is Incorrect. Ask yourself the same question over and over until your answer becomes a YES. Because you are indeed desirable. The problem for women who love too much or at least for those who thinks they are, is the big

1 Strategy Women Must Employ To Snag A Man

download (7)Have you ever heard a guy say “I don’t know what I want” when it comes to dating. Don’t get me wrong – men are largely confused about women and don’t really know what they want until they find that a girl is half decent to talk to and be around and there is sufficient chemistry to back that up.

You may have even been dating or crushing on a man who said he wasn’t ready for anything serious at the moment or better yet told you that he wanted a woman who was stable and didn’t play games. Basically he told you that he didn’t want to be with ‘a crazy’, only for you to discover some weeks or months later that he was in a relationship with a woman who was the opposite picture of what he described – manipulative, jealous, irrational and in your opinion no good for him.

See a man may not exactly know what he wants or has just not found her yet however don’t be the women who makes the fundamental mistake of listening to

How to Persuade Men to Get What You Want

download (6)Do you wonder what attracts and keeps guys interested? You must figure out exactly what HE needs in order to capture and retain his interest.

Figuring out what guys like isn’t easy. Right?

Wouldn’t you love to know what men like when it comes to women?

Quite a bit, it turns out. Read on to find out more…


As you may well know men are visual creatures. They love to look at us. Sometimes they do it without even realizing they are doing it!

So the dots may connect if you have every caught a previous partner staring at another woman and then acting like he didn’t know what you were talking about when you did it.

Men are designed to hone into women’s bodies which is exactly why you must make sure you utilize all possible strategies to make him notice yours!

This doesn’t mean dressing provocatively or exposing a lot of skin but more rather wearing clothes that compliment your figure, taking care of your body and holding your body with confidence.

Using physical appeal at any stage of the relationship is

Couples Commitment Ceremony

download (5)Marriage, they say, ‘Is an Institution’,

One that was created a very long time ago

for various reasons that made perfect sense to

those that were

Part of that old world view.


in most cultures, married women had very few rights of their own,

being considered, along with the family’s children,

the property of the husband

as such,

They could not own or inherit property,

or represent themselves legally.

Over time,

A lot of these ‘Non-Equanimeous’ perspectives have been Transcended…

Another big step up In the

Evolution of Human Developmental Stage Growth

is the Transcendence – From

Myth, Magic & Miracle Based Ethnocentric ‘religious’ views…

And moving up to the next stages:

Modern Rational

Post-Modern Rational

Pluralist (every one is equal)

To Finally…


Beginning the 2cd-Tier of Human Conscious Awareness

Of which about 5% are currently now operating at.

There are some very valid points to consider with stage growth,

You can’t skip stages…

At best you can accelerate your growing process…


for a lot of people,

They are stuck in a ‘traditional’ Spiritual rut.

The downside of ‘traditions’

is that

it keeps a lot of Progressive Higher Perspectives


Way back ‘when’…

No specific ritual was prescribed for celebrating a marriage:

“Marriage vows did not have to be exchanged in a church,

nor was a

We Seem to Lack Commitment in Life Today!

download (4)There is an old expression what you put into something is what you get out of it. I don’t believe that is always true today, particularly in employment. Nobody is indispensable, but in earlier times employers made more commitments to employees like full-time hours, raises based on their performance, and I had heard of people working their way up from mailroom to President. That doesn’t happen that much in these times, so why should an employee fully commit to a job that is not secure. Even worse many can’t meet their financial obligations. In the old days of Mom and Pop businesses, employees worked side by side with employers. It wasn’t about education but dedication, having mega corporations as the main employers in this country, takes away so many people’s successful futures.

Our fast paced world doesn’t provide enough time to make commitments as easily as before. How many times have you been in the middle of a serious life conversation with someone, their cellphone goes off, and like Pablo’s dog they have to answer it, right in the middle. People to

This entry was posted on February 24, 2016, in Relationship.

Committed Relationships – Tips For Keeping Your Love Strong

download (3)In a relationship, time can work either for you or against you. When we meet someone we like, we put a lot of effort in showing the best of ourselves. When we fall in love, everything seems perfect. After some time, reality kicks in and we start to see lifeĀ“s true colours. Even though our relationship is bound to change, it does not mean it has to change for worse. Here are some tips on how to take advantage of time and keep your love strong.

Create good memories. Try to do nice things when you spend time together. This is what you will want to remember. Fights and discussions are not nice memories and will not help your relationship in any way. Cooking and cleaning can become fun memories with a little imagination. If you spend more quality time together, doing things that you both enjoy, you will want to spend more time together in the future.

Communicate your feelings or your worries when needed. This can avoid misunderstandings, conflicts and problems in the future. Communication is essential for a happy and

This entry was posted on February 22, 2016, in Relationship.

6 Traits Men Want In A Long Term Partner

download (1)What do men want in a long term partner? I am sure you have some idea but I am about to clarify what men seek in a potential wife…

1. Dependability

Men want a woman who is faithful, reliable and trustworthy. They are looking for a loyal mate who will have their back and not stray elsewhere. Men need a good reason to commit to women, especially given the life-cycle of most marriages these days so it’s no wonder that being a dependable partner is highly revered by men.

2. Emotionally stable

Men who a ready to settle down want a partner who has a high level of emotional intelligence. Physical attraction is only part of it and not as important to men as you may think. Men will only make a safe investment in a woman who is grounded and who will not make their life more difficult or potentially threaten their freedom.

3. Intelligence

This next factor is really important and highly undervalued. Guys want to be able to connect on an intellectual level to a woman. They adore women who have something between

Why Men Commit To Some Women And Not To Others

download (2)Many women believe that men are anti-commitment. That’s in fact not the case. Men want love and a relationship like women do, but what they fear is being in a relationship where there is little to no attraction and intimacy. They are scared of being trapped in a partnership with the wrong woman.

Let’s take a step back here. Firstly, in order for a man to potentially commit to a woman he first has to be connected to his heart. Young men, especially between the ages of 18-30 are experiencing peak levels of testosterone, Testosterone to a man = selfish and ego. Unless a young man experiences certain powerful life-changing events that make him mature faster, he won’t get in touch with his heart until his mid to late 30s. It is evident when a man is connected to his heart because he will be genuinely sincere, thoughtful, paternal and loving. You can just tell that he is sincere by the depth of his conversations and especially through his actions.

Sometimes a man will run hot and cold. What he is experiencing is

This entry was posted on February 1, 2016, in Relationship.

A Relationship With Spiritual Power and Commitment to God

images (2)This is a subject that many are already familiar with, but this article is about which if any God one has a relationship with. If one is religious than the chances are they are led astray by ‘faith’ and their contact is powerless. If, on the other hand, they are linked to the Spirit of the Universe then their relationship is with the Divine. In the third case one is concerned with a relationship to a physical person and gives no thought to the little voice within that wants to be heard.

Physical love is precious and it is a gift from God. To be cuddled, stroked, pampered, and have someone to care for is what life is mostly about. But it comes to an end and sometimes with drastic consequences. Women become victims of violence and men often take their own lives and sometimes that of their children as they struggle to overcome their loss.

Women who lose out may go into a deep depression and the children are ripped apart by fighting parents who seek custody of them. One must wonder

This entry was posted on January 16, 2016, in Relationship.

Modern Partnership Vow “To Not Suffocate My Truth”

downloadDo you find yourself programmed to believe relationships are meant to last forever? Are you in a romantic partnership following the “Till death do us part” vows? What happens when one or both individuals have a shift in values, sexual needs, or personal desires over a period of time?

Do we honor our initial promises to each other, pushing our needs aside, losing ourselves in an effort to hold onto that relationship as we know it? Or do we acknowledge these changes, lay the cards on the table and talk about how we can best support each other?

I believe, “relationship” is one of the highest forms of spiritual practice. Now, consider how many relationships you have at this time in your life. You have a relationship with your family members, friends, employers, lovers, and yourself. In each relationship you learn to give and receive… you find your growth edge.

Your growth edge is where you explore all the most intricate pieces of your being, and have an opportunity to learn the most extraordinary things about yourself.

What an incredible journey in life and love!

In our

You Want A Relationship, But Are You Emotionally Unavailable?

images (1)Do you believe that you are fully available for a relationship and that you have just not met the right person? Or, do you find yourself in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable or isn’t in love with you, and you’re convinced you are available for the relationship?

Yvette, who is in that situation, wrote the following to me:

I am in love with a man, who is my friend, and who is not attracted to me in a sexual way. His rejection in this respect causes me great pain and sadness. It is very difficult for me to let go of the expectations and hopes that he might love me and want me in this particular way. I am afraid that these expectations and my pain might ruin this friendship. I would like to get rid of the expectations that he might fall in love with me, but I don’t know how. I would like to accept this situation as it is. I am also horribly jealous if he shows interest in other girls.”

While I’m certain that Yvette believes she is