Archive | February 2016

We Seem to Lack Commitment in Life Today!

download (4)There is an old expression what you put into something is what you get out of it. I don’t believe that is always true today, particularly in employment. Nobody is indispensable, but in earlier times employers made more commitments to employees like full-time hours, raises based on their performance, and I had heard of people working their way up from mailroom to President. That doesn’t happen that much in these times, so why should an employee fully commit to a job that is not secure. Even worse many can’t meet their financial obligations. In the old days of Mom and Pop businesses, employees worked side by side with employers. It wasn’t about education but dedication, having mega corporations as the main employers in this country, takes away so many people’s successful futures.

Our fast paced world doesn’t provide enough time to make commitments as easily as before. How many times have you been in the middle of a serious life conversation with someone, their cellphone goes off, and like Pablo’s dog they have to answer it, right in the middle. People to me can’t even commit fully to their families. In terms of our children’s education we no longer commit to excellence, if our child is failing we don’t take total ownership, but put the burden on the education system, so as result we our allowing our children to advance to next grade in a substandard way. In our province no child is left behind, even if failing they’re advanced. Then they get to higher education can’t spell, do simple math without a calculator, or even write in cursive because it is not taught. We don’t have time to commit to our children like we should, making ends meet is hard enough for most, working crazy hours is allowing our children to slide by, They’re not being taught at home proper conduct like manners, or even given real consequences for their actions. Not intentionally we let our kids slide through the cracks, thinking we are doing everything, then can’t figure out why their still living at home at 30 years old, can’t commit to relationships, and have no idea how to blend into society? The real reason is we are not as committed as our parents and grandparent were to us!

Our governments can seem to commit either, no clear plans for job creation, lowering inflation, providing ambitious people an avenue to succeed, or even creating jobs for those finished University to earn enough to pay their loans back. They commit to those from other countries than the citizens suffering here, and increase national debt load in the process, raising taxes making it even harder to survive.

The definition of commitment is a promise to give or do something, I notice many people refuse to do either, and that could be part of reason long-term relationships our few and far to come by. We live in limited committal world where it is more about what is in it for me, as prior it was more what is in it for us. Maybe if we become more contentious about commitment, we would be happier people feeling more secure within our personal lives.

This entry was posted on February 24, 2016, in Relationship.

Committed Relationships – Tips For Keeping Your Love Strong

download (3)In a relationship, time can work either for you or against you. When we meet someone we like, we put a lot of effort in showing the best of ourselves. When we fall in love, everything seems perfect. After some time, reality kicks in and we start to see life´s true colours. Even though our relationship is bound to change, it does not mean it has to change for worse. Here are some tips on how to take advantage of time and keep your love strong.

Create good memories. Try to do nice things when you spend time together. This is what you will want to remember. Fights and discussions are not nice memories and will not help your relationship in any way. Cooking and cleaning can become fun memories with a little imagination. If you spend more quality time together, doing things that you both enjoy, you will want to spend more time together in the future.

Communicate your feelings or your worries when needed. This can avoid misunderstandings, conflicts and problems in the future. Communication is essential for a happy and healthy relationship. Talking with each other is the only way we have of sharing our interests and planning our time together. Most important of all, it is the easiest way of getting to know the person we love.

Give affection. Give each other as much affection as possible. There is always time for a hug or a kiss. Being affectionate with each other helps to keep romance alive. Studies have proven that being affectionate helps against depression and stress. As to relationships, it helps to create a stronger bond and can even smooth over the bumps we encounter on the way.

Compromise. There will always be moments when you don´t see eye to eye. We are all different and have our own opinions and views about things. We have different backgrounds and different upbringings. Therefore we should respect each other’s ways of thinking. Don´t turn a disagreement into a conflict. Compromise and find a solution you can both live with.

Try new things together. Boredom is a relationship killer. We become easy victims to routine due to work, family, children and other commitments. Try to make an effort to find something new to do together. This is especially important to do if you feel you are drifting apart or your relationship is cooling down. This will help you reconnect and perhaps learn something new about your partner.

Be there for each other. Life is not always perfect and there might be a time when the person you love really needs your support. Yo might need to give advice, comfort or simply lend an ear. It is often in these cases when we are most vulnerable and we feel the need to confide and seek the support of those we love. You want to be the most important person in his or her life, so being there when needed is crucial.

Make each other happy. Do nice things and surprise your partner with things you know will make him or her happy. Making others happy will increase you own happiness too. It could be as simple as writing a loving text message or booking dinner at a restaurant. There are many small things we can do daily which don´t require a lot of effort or time.

If the time you spend with your partner has more good moments than bad, your love is bound to get stronger over time. Use time wisely and to your advantage. Making each other happy is the key to a long-lasting relationship.

This entry was posted on February 22, 2016, in Relationship.

6 Traits Men Want In A Long Term Partner

download (1)What do men want in a long term partner? I am sure you have some idea but I am about to clarify what men seek in a potential wife…

1. Dependability

Men want a woman who is faithful, reliable and trustworthy. They are looking for a loyal mate who will have their back and not stray elsewhere. Men need a good reason to commit to women, especially given the life-cycle of most marriages these days so it’s no wonder that being a dependable partner is highly revered by men.

2. Emotionally stable

Men who a ready to settle down want a partner who has a high level of emotional intelligence. Physical attraction is only part of it and not as important to men as you may think. Men will only make a safe investment in a woman who is grounded and who will not make their life more difficult or potentially threaten their freedom.

3. Intelligence

This next factor is really important and highly undervalued. Guys want to be able to connect on an intellectual level to a woman. They adore women who have something between their ears and a high level of education to back it up.

4. Happy Demeanour

Guys love women who are happy within themselves. To men these women are a joy to be around. Playful women are irresistible women. There is something mezmerising about a woman’s playful nature – so be happy!

5. Sociable

Men want to cohabit with a woman who makes friends easily and can converse with their friends and family. Men think about this because they want to be able to socialise with a woman in the future. Going out and engaging with others is highly valued by men and you need to be comfortable at fitting in and interacting with new people.

6. Being Healthy

Men subconscioulsy assess how healthy you are when they meet you, this is a mark of your ability to be fertile in the future. Your skin, vibrancy, body disposition and energy levels are all factors men assess you on without even realizing it. However, what they will also take into consideration when dating you is how active you are and how much effort you put into staying healthy and looking good. A man will want to know if you are going to look after your body as he wants to be attracted to you now and in the future. So make sure you look after your self-image.

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Why Men Commit To Some Women And Not To Others

download (2)Many women believe that men are anti-commitment. That’s in fact not the case. Men want love and a relationship like women do, but what they fear is being in a relationship where there is little to no attraction and intimacy. They are scared of being trapped in a partnership with the wrong woman.

Let’s take a step back here. Firstly, in order for a man to potentially commit to a woman he first has to be connected to his heart. Young men, especially between the ages of 18-30 are experiencing peak levels of testosterone, Testosterone to a man = selfish and ego. Unless a young man experiences certain powerful life-changing events that make him mature faster, he won’t get in touch with his heart until his mid to late 30s. It is evident when a man is connected to his heart because he will be genuinely sincere, thoughtful, paternal and loving. You can just tell that he is sincere by the depth of his conversations and especially through his actions.

Sometimes a man will run hot and cold. What he is experiencing is confusion. He likes spending time with you and understands that a great connection with a woman is hard to find, but you aren’t the kind of woman who makes him feel so amazing about himself when he is around you that he doesn’t ever want to be without you. That is why a guy will break up with you and use the “I am not ready for a relationship” line and then a few months later be engaged to another woman.

Men who feel such powerful emotions towards a woman are more than happy to nest with them. If he feels great with a woman, they have several things in common, regularly partake in activities together and have frequent intimate moments then he will stick to her like superglue.

So how do you create these positive feelings in men?

  • Firstly, women need to hold back and follow a man’s lead. They need to let him navigate the pace of a relationship – a woman should always be a step behind him. Never give more than he gives you. However, it is a woman’s prerogative to determine the pace of the intimacy
  • Take your time. It takes 5-10 dates or nearly 3 months to know if a guy is the right fit for you. Don’t rush into it. Get to know him before having sex with him. As soon as a woman has sex with a guy, oxytocin is released in her body making her bond to him. He might get there too, but respect that men take longer to get into a relationship and longer to get out of the commitment zone than women do.
  • Keep your emotions in check. Think before you speak by being cautious about what you share with him. You don’t want to overwhelm him or create negative attraction.
  • Focus on the now, not on the past or on the future. Men are all about the moment. If you get lost in space when you are with him, he will sense that and pull away.
This entry was posted on February 1, 2016, in Relationship.