Archive | May 2016

Traits of a Long and Happy Relationship

images (11)We all want to know the secret of a long and happy relationship. There is an excellent study of adult development that examined people continuously for six to eight decades. This Aging Well(1) study focused on three groups. First is sample of 268 socially advantaged Harvard grads born around 1920. The second group is 456 inner city men born around 1930. The third group is 682 middle-class intellectually gifted women born around 1910. The study involved eight initial in-depth psychiatric interviews to establish a baseline. The follow-up study involved interviews with them, their parents and teachers to get more objective information. Most of subjects were then followed continuously until they passed away.

To bypass all the statistics, the task of generativity was the best predictor of an enduring and happy marriage in old age. Generativity is basically how involved we have been as parents. We generate and raise our children with a varying degree of involvement. The top four traits from the study for a long and happy marriage are generativity, commitment, tolerance and humor.

Generativity is a measure of our caretaker abilities extended into retirement. The skills we use in child rearing certainly include dedicated care-taking, especially when children are young. We make a long-term commitment to our children as a matter of course, and we all know how much tolerance we need when they become adolescents. Humor is a good coping mechanism that helps relieve stress and lighten the intensity of the situation.

Good care-taking starts with an attitude of embracing the importance of relationships in general. Those who had a positive and supportive role model from their parents tend to emulate those behaviors when they become parents. But, those who did not develop basic trust with their primary caretaker tend not to be good caretakers themselves.

Relationship skills learned in childhood are usually transferred to marriage and other emotional relationships as well.The study mentioned above may suggest that if your partner was not involved with child-rearing, did not bond in childhood, or is not involved in a care-taking role at work, he may not be involved with the care-taking demands of your relationship going forward.

 

About Promise Rings

download (9)A promise ring is a symbol of commitment and most people give it as a pre-engagement ring. If you are buying the ring to your loved one to show that you are committed to him/her, you need to be specific as to what you are promising.

Tips To Consider When Buying The Ring

You need to know the purpose that you have with the ring. If you are giving the ring as a sign of friendship, you should buy something that is simple and inexpensive. If on other hand your partner is looking for a marriage proposal, you should go for a traditional ring. To avoid misinterpreted surprise, you should be clear to your partner as to why you are giving the ring.

For your partner to like the ring, you should ensure that it’s something that he/she can wear. This calls for you to know the right size that you should go for. You should also know the career of your partner. If he/she is involved in a job that involves a lot of manual work, you should go for a ring made from hard material such as titanium.

Ways Of Giving The Ring

Although, you can go directly to your partner and give him/her the ring, it’s wise that you present it in a special way in order to create the impact that you want. Here are some of the ways in which you can present the ring:

Rose bud: red roses show that you are romantic. You should take a single red rose and hide the ring inside an unopened bud. You should put the bud in a vase and place the vase in a prominent location such as office desk where your partner will easily see it.

Chocolate box: you should buy a heart-shaped chocolate box and place the promise ring inside it. You should then wrap the box in a beautiful paper and tie it with a fancy bow. You should then give the box to your partner who will see the ring.

Dessert tray: here you should take your partner to dinner in a fancy restaurant. For ideal results, you should always make arrangements with the restaurant manager in advance and share your plan to present the ring. After you have taken your meal, you should ask the waiter to give you the dessert tray. One of the desserts should be topped with the ring and your partner will see it.

What Is Grace and Where Can I Find It?

images (10)The word Grace is the basis of all my understanding of a Christian belief and an American value system that I hold dear. Yet, only the unmerited grace of God can save anyone anywhere in the world of any religious background. No one can have a claim of entitlement to God’s grace, Christian or Non-Christian, and it is only by his generosity that salvation is even possible for any of us.

Grace is the love and mercy we are given by the Creator of Heaven and Earth because we are thought to be worthy to possess it by his holiness. We primarily refer to God as our Creator and Muslims refer to Him as Allah. Pre-Islamic Christians and Jewish people referred to Him as Allah long before this however so I personally believe He is one and the same. I’ve known many Muslims having been in Iraq and Kuwait for nearly nine years during both war and peacetime. Grace is something open to all people on this planet earth regardless of religious affiliation. It is not just for Christians only but it is given to all the earth’s inhabitants. Many do not accept this thought pattern nor accept the Christian viewpoint. Our Creator gives us this today even though we are not even close to being as he envisioned us and created us to be. It is an unearned gift. I’m not really worthy but neither are you as hard as you might try to prove you are. God loves you and that’s not a bad thing. That is all you need to know. Accept what you’ve been given and try to appreciate what you have and give back to society in whatever way you know how. Go to Temple, Church, Mosque or whatever is your choice and be thankful while both there and at home or any place in between. God deserves some respect from his children. You don’t need to be disrespectful until such a time when it is too late in your short life. Yes, it is a lot shorter than you might think. It is never too late to begin a Graceful existence from this day forward.

Why not Worship at a church called Grace? “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God and not the result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

In Bangor Maine, Grace Church is located at 193 Union Street today! You are Welcome to go there and see Grace UMC doing God’s Work in serving the poor and less fortunate in our immediate neighborhood. Some say that “It is the Heart in the Heart of the City”. You may know another church like that. It may not be called Grace but it may have a graceful approach towards the city or community nearby. You could contribute and make a joyful noise unto the Lord. You can accept the graceful gift you have been given. Yes, you were also given a special gift from God. Everyone has something special and many people spend their whole life and not know or even realize what it was. How about you? Start thinking about what it is and unpack your gift and use it wisely. It is never too late to discover it and hopefully not too late to start taking advantage of it. Imagine receiving Grace as well as a special gift from God. The Lord may be your best friend and you either don’t know it or appreciate it if you do.

When you think about the term Grace, what comes to your mind? You might think about an unearned mercy that was given to you by God because you are loved and appreciated as a child and regardless if you are good or of a wayward spirit, you are deeply loved still.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. It is a spontaneous gift from Allah God to man. I believe Yahweh, Allah and God are one and the same. Grace is “generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved”. It has been afforded each of us by the Master of the Universe.

Grace Church in Bangor does the Work we are expected to be doing. Many other houses of Worship do the same I’m sure. If you go to Grace or another like it, you will learn how you can get involved and help in ministry to the poor and less fortunate in our city and neighborhoods or in your neighborhood.

John Wesley believed this about Grace. the believer who repents and accepts Christ is not “making himself righteous” by an act of his own will, such as would alter his dependency on the grace of God for his salvation. Faith and repentance, rather, are the believer’s trust in God that he will make them righteous. Wesley stated that God makes the initial move in salvation, but human beings are free to respond or reject God’s graceful initiative.

John Wesley believed that God provides three kinds of Divine Grace. Prevenient grace is innate from birth. “Prevenient” means “comes before.” Wesley did not believe that humanity was totally “depraved.” He believed everyone is born with a bit of divine grace. It is enough to enable the individual to recognize and accept God’s justifying grace. Justifying grace today is what is referred to as a “conversion” or of being “born again.” God’s justifying grace brings “new life in Christ.” Wesley believed that people have freedom of choice. They can accept or reject God’s justifying grace. Wesley also believed that after accepting God’s grace, a person is to move on in God’s Sustaining grace and toward perfection. He believed people can make sinful choices that will cause them to “fall from grace” or “backslide.” He said it is insufficient to claim God’s salvation and then stagnate, return to sinning deliberately, or not produce any evidence of following Christ. I like the Wesley definition but as you can see it is complicated.

It is time to get back to the basics regardless of what religious affiliation you have chosen or considered. Grace is definitively a good thing to seek out. It may be time to attend a church or house of worship of your choice. You are Welcome to join us at Grace or at any other place. We all need a graceful life even if we don’t understand why. Hope this paper has helped you understand the importance of God’s gift of Grace and your own special gift just for you alone. Two gifts and no two are exactly alike. Truly, it is Amazing Grace.

 

Keys That You Are With The Right Person

images (9)Many people have asked about how you would know that you are with the right person, the one that you were looking for a long time. Some even ask married people how they knew that they met the right one. Here are the things that you should remember, you will meet a lot of people but only one will spark and start a fire in you and become yours for life.

Comfortable

One thing you will feel when you are with right person is that you are more than comfortable with him, you talk about random things without staggering,, confide in him without hesitation and do things you don’t do around others. Getting comfortable with your partner is essential, for both of you will be transparent with one another, no pretensions because you can be YOURSELF with your significant other.

You are not left hanging

No guessing game, you don’t have to ask yourself when he’s going to call or text you, nor when he’s going to turn up and ask you out to spend some time. He will not leave you with all those questions to yourself, he’ll show how valuable you are, call when he says he will and will make a reservation for two on a Saturday night, that’s because he won’t give something to make his girl something negative to think about and he will make a way to get in touch even in the middle of his busy days.

Knows you more than anyone else

Knowing you more than anyone else is a jackpot, because it means that he takes and remembers every detail of you, even the tiniest detail, like how you pick your nose or even your morning routine, that’s the most wonderful thing a man could ever be to his girl.

Respect

You don’t marry nor be with someone who doesn’t respect you, forget loyalty, if he doesn’t respect you then you must let go. Respect is vital in a relationship, because love without respect is useless. For example, he’s asking you to do something you don’t want to do. Moreover is when it comes to privacy, even if you’re married, both must respect each others’ privacy. Respect each other in every terms at all cost, they maybe small deeds but it all means a lot, and respect is much.