Many women believe that men are anti-commitment. That’s in fact not the case. Men want love and a relationship like women do, but what they fear is being in a relationship where there is little to no attraction and intimacy. They are scared of being trapped in a partnership with the wrong woman.
Let’s take a step back here. Firstly, in order for a man to potentially commit to a woman he first has to be connected to his heart. Young men, especially between the ages of 18-30 are experiencing peak levels of testosterone, Testosterone to a man = selfish and ego. Unless a young man experiences certain powerful life-changing events that make him mature faster, he won’t get in touch with his heart until his mid to late 30s. It is evident when a man is connected to his heart because he will be genuinely sincere, thoughtful, paternal and loving. You can just tell that he is sincere by the depth of his conversations and especially through his actions.
Sometimes a man will run hot and cold. What he is experiencing is confusion. He likes spending time with you and understands that a great connection with a woman is hard to find, but you aren’t the kind of woman who makes him feel so amazing about himself when he is around you that he doesn’t ever want to be without you. That is why a guy will break up with you and use the “I am not ready for a relationship” line and then a few months later be engaged to another woman.
Men who feel such powerful emotions towards a woman are more than happy to nest with them. If he feels great with a woman, they have several things in common, regularly partake in activities together and have frequent intimate moments then he will stick to her like superglue.
So how do you create these positive feelings in men?
- Firstly, women need to hold back and follow a man’s lead. They need to let him navigate the pace of a relationship – a woman should always be a step behind him. Never give more than he gives you. However, it is a woman’s prerogative to determine the pace of the intimacy
- Take your time. It takes 5-10 dates or nearly 3 months to know if a guy is the right fit for you. Don’t rush into it. Get to know him before having sex with him. As soon as a woman has sex with a guy, oxytocin is released in her body making her bond to him. He might get there too, but respect that men take longer to get into a relationship and longer to get out of the commitment zone than women do.
- Keep your emotions in check. Think before you speak by being cautious about what you share with him. You don’t want to overwhelm him or create negative attraction.
- Focus on the now, not on the past or on the future. Men are all about the moment. If you get lost in space when you are with him, he will sense that and pull away.